Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

>This is bewildering

December 4, 2009

>Falling is love is a wonderful experience. For some, it leads to long-term relationships or even marriage (for the privileged majority).

Rick Warren, the purpose driven pastor, did it differently. He married someone he was not in love with and was not attracted to, asking her to marry him on their second date, because “he said he heard God clearly tell him that this is who he will marry.” His wife did not love him either, but she agreed because “she recalled hearing God say, “I’ll bring the feelings.”

This story, via JoeMyGod and originally at Christian Post, is more than a little strange.

“Through interviews with Sheler, Rick and Kay Warren disclosed that they were not attracted to each other nor had feelings for each other when they agreed to be married. Instead, they believed that God had spoken to each of them saying this is the person they should marry.”

I’ll let you come to your own conclusions, but can’t offer too much respect for someone whose marriage began more a like Britney Spears relationship than a love story. Especially when he, as Joe said, has “no problem at all interfering with the relationships of other people who are madly in love with the person they want to marry.”

On a completely different subject I just have to share this picture of Glenn Shadix and Johnny Depp. Glenn was attending an event honoring Tim Burton at New York’s Museum of Modern Art last month. Read about it at Glenn’s blog. Johnny Depp! People magazine’s sexiest man of the year!

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>Tweet-Presbyterians-Tweet-Marriage-Tweet

February 20, 2009

>Follow me.

No, I’m really not getting sucked in. But did you know that the founders of Twitter (Evan Williams and Biz Stone) rejected a $500 million takeover from Facebook. $500 million!!!

They brag that Twitter had the first pictures of the Miracle on the Hudson landing. Well OK, but someone could also post a picture of an alien spaceship landing in Trussville on Twitter, and who would know if it is real news or not. For those who wait another 5 minutes to see news break on CNN or even Fox, isn’t it worth it to know that the news is real. Most of the time.

Enough about that.

Alabama mainline Presbyterians (Presbytery of Sheppards and Lapsley) have voted 77-75 to drop language that requires clergy to “abide by fidelity in marriage and chastity in singleness.”

Story

173 regional groups like that will vote this year on the issue. Passage by a majority would allow local presbyteries more leeway in ordaining clergy.

This might allow gay clergy who are in committed relationships to be ordained. After all, the clause being debated was added to target gays (in 1997).

So far the national vote is 39-24 against changing the language.

Marriage

Interesting concepts from today’s Dear Abby column.

From Abby: some churches feel so strongly about separating the legal aspect of marriage from the religious that they have voted to only “bless unions,” and their clergy no longer sign marriage licenses.

From Rev. M. N. R. in New York: Several couples I know have married without the paperwork because they regard the alternative the same as sitting at a segregated lunch counter, and they are unwilling to support segregation.

From Rebecca in Sunnydale, Calif: When the Bible was written, did they have marriage licenses then?

From God is our Witness in Colorado: Nowhere in the bible does a servant of God ask permission from the government to marry…And while there are references to “what God has joined together,” there is no similar praise for what Caesar has blessed.

This 9 minute video explains a lot. And I knew there was a reason I like David Cook.

>Marriage as Defined in the Bible

December 18, 2008

>Since when does creating a “Team of Rivals” include asking the pastor who purposely tried to make you look foolish, to pray at your inauguration?

Rick Warren is either a smart slimeball or senseless moron, and that’s just based on his responses in this YouTube video.

First, he is right, divorce is a greater threat to the American family than same-sex marriage. But he spins statistics to say that most marriages are successful. He says in reality most marriages are successful, even though people say more than half the marriages end in divorce. And they do, he just doesn’t count the second and third marriages which end in divorce 61% and 75% of the time, respectively.

Anyway, after comparing same sex marriage to brother-sister marriage, old guy-young girl marriage and polygamy, he talks about the re-definition of marriage, which has been defined for 5000 years, he says.

Ok, go back 5000 years, Rick. Around that time, Abraham included in his marriage having sex with and impregnating his wife’s Egyptian maid, Hagar. As it says in the New American Standard Version of the Bible, “Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife.” Gen 16:3. Great example of traditional marriage.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Not long after, Lot’s wife became a pillar of salt (think about that next time you season your green beans). Lot returned to his cave man roots (Gen 19: 30) and his daughters got him drunk and partied with him, and each had a baby boy.

Yeah Rick, marriage 5000 years ago is really something to hold on to.

Then there’s that whole “sister, half sister, wife” thing Abraham goes into with Abimelech (Gen 20), and men fathering children by their concubines as part of their traditional marriage (Gen 22).

Next up is Esau, the hairy guy, who must have been a real stud. First he married Adah the daughter of Elon the Hittite, and Oholibamah the daughter of Anah, and also Basemath (his cousin). (Gen 36)

So these are examples of marriage when the relationship was being defined. Polygamy, incest and concubines. And that is just Genesis. Marriage has be re-defined so many times it’s ridiculous.

Oh, and many conservatives are upset with Rick Warren also because they see him as an opportunist and don’t like his broadening of the evangelical agenda. (Re-defining the evangelical agenda).

>Caring for Veterans plus Music for Lovers

November 19, 2008

>Be sure to read the post directly below this one. It is my column from today’s Western Tribune, where I explain the significance of Barack Obama’s election to the gay community.

This story, seen on NBC News last night, will touch your heart. Well, it did mine. Because I think we should do a better job in caring for our vets who come home with physical or mental wounds. And because it involves dogs. I am still a veterinarian, you know. And even though I focused on cats during my career, what dogs can do is amazing.

Service dogs, being trained to assist wounded service persons, are being trained by veterans with PTSD, and the training is part of their therapy as well. This is great.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/27792698#27792698

Shifting gears a bit…

Boyzone
, the boy band from Ireland (now more of a “man band”) with openly gay heartthrob Stephen Gately, will be releasing a new song in December. “Better” is a cover of a song recorded by Tom Baxter last year and is touted as being the first “boy band” music video that shows a gay couple in love. The band first wanted to use their real love interests in the video but the partners would not agree. The other pairings are straight couples.

This song reflects the feelings that any couple, gay or straight, might have as they consider a life together. And separate but equal institutions of recognizing those lives are not right. So watch the video, consider how you feel about your husband, wife, partner, bf or gf or whoever, and think about how everyone in love should have equal rights.

At any rate, Tom Baxter recorded the song in 2007, and his video is just as diverse.

So, which video, and which version of the song, do you like?

But “gayish” videos go way back. Some of us remember Pet Shop Boys “Being Boring” from 1990. Don’t let the bare bunned guy at the first scare you, the video is really just about life when you are young, and the song is actually in remembrance of people lost to AIDS.

But what memories…(although our parties never featured donkeys or chimps on bicycles).

Going to the Chapel…

May 16, 2008

Not really, but:

Who would have thought that it would be 30 hours past the most historic court decision involving equality since the U. S. Supreme Court overturned Texas’ sodomy law in Lawrence v Texas in 2003, before I posted a comment on California’s ruling? But sometimes family celebratory occasions and midterm exams take precedence. Besides, now I have the benefit of everyone else’s opinions.

Let me start by saying I knew the decision would come out around noon yesterday and as I was driving I was listening to Sirius OutQ to hear what I hoped would be good news. They said there was some delay, and I went to CNN where some uninformed reporter who must be embarrassed out of her shell was stating the marriage ban had been upheld and the San Francisco marriages annulled and there would be hundreds of thousands of people disappointed and this would be a set back for the gay rights movement and all.

Crap, I thought, and I switched back to OutQ where their reporter was just beginning to read from the decision (about 160 pages) and said the ban had been overturned, and that the court ruled that “Our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation…”

Not long after we learned that the ruling began with a historical account of sorts, and that the CNN reporter was reading that, thinking it was the ruling. Ha.

Out Q beat all the news outlets as well as AP with the story.

Anyway, here are the important things I now realize.

  • The Republican party did not come out swinging (except for Jay Love, running for congress here in Alabama…thanks Jimbo for the tip…you can view Jay Love’s awful ad on youtube but I am not providing a link. More about him later). How could they? Three of the four justices who ruled in favor of same sex marriage were appointed by republicans, and the darling of republican governors Arnold Schwarzenegger has vowed to uphold the freedom to marry.
  • The fight is not over (nor will it ever be). California has a ballot initiative to write discrimination into their constitution that will likely be on the November ballot. But marriages can begin in 29 days or so. By November, hopefully thousands of couples will enter into traditional, loving same sex marriages and other Californians will see that the sky did not falland that pestilence has not overtaken the state, and will vote against the measure.
  • Just I consider myself straight friendly (I hold no animosity against straight people) there are many Americans who are gay friendly and support the rights of all. So everyone, gay or straight, who reads this should go to Equality For All which is the organization formed to fight the ballot initiative and donate to the cause. The religious wrong is going to be gathering energy and money from across the country to support the ban. Can you say Hawaii, 1990’s? Remember how it took efforts from across the country to stop same sex marriage in Hawaii? Remember those efforts were successful? So let’s not let that happen again. Come on everyone, donate a little!
  • California was the first state to legalize interracial marriage way back in the 1940’s. Other states followed suit and eventually the U. S. Supreme Court ruled in Loving v Virginia in 1967 that interracial marriage should be and would be legal. That is the way it has to work. After several states enact marriage laws one or more can bring the issue before the Supreme Court.
  • Yiiiipeeeeeee!!!!!! Yippeeee. Yippeeeee. Yiiipppeeeeee!!!!!!
  • Now let’s get to work. Oh, and Jay Love? His ad says “Christian Conservative Change.” You might as well say Iraq War, high gas prices, inflated food costs, torture, and blunders because those are the Bush policies and he claims to be the Christian conservative. Let’s hope the people in that district can keep him at home.

>Going to the Chapel…

May 16, 2008

>Not really, but:

Who would have thought that it would be 30 hours past the most historic court decision involving equality since the U. S. Supreme Court overturned Texas’ sodomy law in Lawrence v Texas in 2003, before I posted a comment on California’s ruling? But sometimes family celebratory occasions and midterm exams take precedence. Besides, now I have the benefit of everyone else’s opinions.

Let me start by saying I knew the decision would come out around noon yesterday and as I was driving I was listening to Sirius OutQ to hear what I hoped would be good news. They said there was some delay, and I went to CNN where some uninformed reporter who must be embarrassed out of her shell was stating the marriage ban had been upheld and the San Francisco marriages annulled and there would be hundreds of thousands of people disappointed and this would be a set back for the gay rights movement and all.

Crap, I thought, and I switched back to OutQ where their reporter was just beginning to read from the decision (about 160 pages) and said the ban had been overturned, and that the court ruled that “Our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation…”

Not long after we learned that the ruling began with a historical account of sorts, and that the CNN reporter was reading that, thinking it was the ruling. Ha.

Out Q beat all the news outlets as well as AP with the story.

Anyway, here are the important things I now realize.

  • The Republican party did not come out swinging (except for Jay Love, running for congress here in Alabama…thanks Jimbo for the tip…you can view Jay Love’s awful ad on youtube but I am not providing a link. More about him later). How could they? Three of the four justices who ruled in favor of same sex marriage were appointed by republicans, and the darling of republican governors Arnold Schwarzenegger has vowed to uphold the freedom to marry.
  • The fight is not over (nor will it ever be). California has a ballot initiative to write discrimination into their constitution that will likely be on the November ballot. But marriages can begin in 29 days or so. By November, hopefully thousands of couples will enter into traditional, loving same sex marriages and other Californians will see that the sky did not falland that pestilence has not overtaken the state, and will vote against the measure.
  • Just I consider myself straight friendly (I hold no animosity against straight people) there are many Americans who are gay friendly and support the rights of all. So everyone, gay or straight, who reads this should go to Equality For All which is the organization formed to fight the ballot initiative and donate to the cause. The religious wrong is going to be gathering energy and money from across the country to support the ban. Can you say Hawaii, 1990’s? Remember how it took efforts from across the country to stop same sex marriage in Hawaii? Remember those efforts were successful? So let’s not let that happen again. Come on everyone, donate a little!
  • California was the first state to legalize interracial marriage way back in the 1940’s. Other states followed suit and eventually the U. S. Supreme Court ruled in Loving v Virginia in 1967 that interracial marriage should be and would be legal. That is the way it has to work. After several states enact marriage laws one or more can bring the issue before the Supreme Court.
  • Yiiiipeeeeeee!!!!!! Yippeeee. Yippeeeee. Yiiipppeeeeee!!!!!!
  • Now let’s get to work. Oh, and Jay Love? His ad says “Christian Conservative Change.” You might as well say Iraq War, high gas prices, inflated food costs, torture, and blunders because those are the Bush policies and he claims to be the Christian conservative. Let’s hope the people in that district can keep him at home.

The Big Wedding

May 12, 2008

No, not the one in Crawford Texas, even though Jenna Bush and Henry Hager’s nuptials are worth noting, if only because we know the real reason Jenna decided not to have the wedding at the White House. Here is the happy couple in a photo from thefirsttwins , where you can link to other photos.

The president: “The weather cooperated nicely. Just as the vows were exchanged, the sun set over our lake and it was just a special day and a wonderful day and we’re mighty blessed.”

Nice. But the BIG event, seen by millions last night, was Kevin and Scotty’s wedding.

A simple affair, and no one was struck down and a flood did not wash them away or anything. The “Brothers and Sisters” couple now can enjoy the 1100 benefits and responsibilities afforded by federal and state laws that straight couples can enjoy with a simple (or not so simple…just ask Jenna) ceremony. Including insurance for spouses, hospital visitation rights, inheritance rights, parenting rights…things that many people take for granted and don’t realize that other couples can not enjoy.

Civil unions, domestic partnerships, marriage, it doesn’t matter what it is called, what matters is that everyone is treated equally and certain people (or couples) do not have rights denied to them that are enjoyed by others.

Jenna Bush and her twin sister Barbara probably understand this even though their father doesn’t. Remember in 2004 they were invited to attend the wedding of their celebrity eyebrow waxer, Elizabeth Arden make-up artist Erwin Gomez and his partner James Packard in Laytonsville, Maryland.

Oh well, if people can get over whatever reasons they are currently giving when they say they will not vote for the eventual democratic nominee in the November election, and instead look at how important the issues of the economy, the war, health care, the environment and our reputation in the world are, and cast a vote for the Democratic nominee, then we might begin to make progress toward becoming a nation of equality.

By the way, (at least) one of the actors in Brothers and Sisters who just tied the knot really is gay, as he let us know recently. Read it here.

Addendum: Actually Kevin and Scotty will not enjoy the 1100 or so benefits that married couples are privileged to, because their marriage is still not recognized by the federal government (or the state in which they were married). Ahhh, but one can dream, can’t one.

>The Big Wedding

May 12, 2008

>

No, not the one in Crawford Texas, even though Jenna Bush and Henry Hager’s nuptials are worth noting, if only because we know the real reason Jenna decided not to have the wedding at the White House. Here is the happy couple in a photo from thefirsttwins , where you can link to other photos.

The president: “The weather cooperated nicely. Just as the vows were exchanged, the sun set over our lake and it was just a special day and a wonderful day and we’re mighty blessed.”

Nice. But the BIG event, seen by millions last night, was Kevin and Scotty’s wedding.

A simple affair, and no one was struck down and a flood did not wash them away or anything. The “Brothers and Sisters” couple now can enjoy the 1100 benefits and responsibilities afforded by federal and state laws that straight couples can enjoy with a simple (or not so simple…just ask Jenna) ceremony. Including insurance for spouses, hospital visitation rights, inheritance rights, parenting rights…things that many people take for granted and don’t realize that other couples can not enjoy.

Civil unions, domestic partnerships, marriage, it doesn’t matter what it is called, what matters is that everyone is treated equally and certain people (or couples) do not have rights denied to them that are enjoyed by others.

Jenna Bush and her twin sister Barbara probably understand this even though their father doesn’t. Remember in 2004 they were invited to attend the wedding of their celebrity eyebrow waxer, Elizabeth Arden make-up artist Erwin Gomez and his partner James Packard in Laytonsville, Maryland.

Oh well, if people can get over whatever reasons they are currently giving when they say they will not vote for the eventual democratic nominee in the November election, and instead look at how important the issues of the economy, the war, health care, the environment and our reputation in the world are, and cast a vote for the Democratic nominee, then we might begin to make progress toward becoming a nation of equality.

By the way, (at least) one of the actors in Brothers and Sisters who just tied the knot really is gay, as he let us know recently. Read it here.

Addendum: Actually Kevin and Scotty will not enjoy the 1100 or so benefits that married couples are privileged to, because their marriage is still not recognized by the federal government (or the state in which they were married). Ahhh, but one can dream, can’t one.